Learn more about autism and behaviour! Some autistic children may act in a way that appears naughty, but it's actually just their behaviour and the way they interact with the world. This can lead some parents to wonder, is the way my child is acting just their behaviour or are they being naughty? Here some ways to help you understand your child's behaviour.
behaviour and naughtiness
Before telling off your child because they've appeared to have been acting 'naughty', it's important to understand your child's behaviour.
Every autistic child is different. They will have their own ways of interacting with the world and dealing with certain situations. Some of these behaviours can take the appearance of misbehaviour, but are actually just their way of coping with a situation.
For example, let's say you are at a party. The BBQ is going, music playing, children running around, and everyone seems to be having a lot of fun. However, for an autistic child with hyper-hearing, this can be overwhelming. In response to this, they may shout or act out. This isn't because they are being naughty, but because they are trying to express that their senses are being overloaded.
It's always important to remember that children are not adults. If an adult is struggling with something, they can usually express their emotions through words. Children however, especially young children, will usually express their emotions through actions instead.
This shouldn't result in a telling off from parents, but rather should lead parents to show compassion and patience to help your child through the situation.
However, this doesn't mean they won't have times when they will act naughtily. Just as with any child, there will be moments when they misbehave. Parents need to recognise these moments so they can help their child to understand what is right and what is wrong.
tips to help
Determining if your child's actions are just a part of their behaviour or out of naughtiness can be tough. Here are a few way to help you decide.
1. Understand your Child's Behaviour
As most people will agree, when growing up, parents tend to know you better than you know yourself. As your child grows, you will come to understand which acts are a part of your child's behaviour and which are not. This will take time and patience but will lead you to understand your child better than anyone. You will begin to understand how they usually act and when they are acting out.
A place to start could be to understand your child's sensory needs. Some autistic children can have hypo-sensitivities, this is where the senses are underwhelmed, or hyper-sensitivities, where the senses are overwhelmed (learn more here). By understanding your child's sensory needs, you can then prepare with sensory items to help them if they are struggling in a sensory environment.
You could also look out for things like:
How your child reacts after social situations
How do they deal with change (for example, a change in routine)
Do they like to stim? (Stimming is a movement or action to help calm and soothe).
Do they act differently in public than at home (are they masking to 'fit in'?)
tip: you may find it helpful to keep a journal with your child's behaviour in it. You can write down how your child behaves in certain situations.
2. Understand Sensory Overload
A lot of times, 'misbehaviour' is actually the result of sensory overload. Sensory overload can happen when an autistic person senses are over/underwhelmed (whether by smells, bright lights, or loud noises). This can cause anxiety and be quite stressful, especially for children (as described in the party example above). This could lead to your child 'acting out'. If you notice your child is dealing with sensory overload, try to find a sensory free place where they can feel safe and relax.
You may also find it helpful to create a sensory kit with your child's favourite sensory items in case you do end up in a situation where your child's senses may be overwhelmed. For example, bringing noise reduction headphones in loud places.
To learn more about sensory overload and some tips to help, check out this blog.
3. Understand Autistic Burnout
Autistic burnout is where different situations build up overtime. This could be things like sensory overload, dealing with bullies & feeling the need to mask as a way to 'fit in'. All of these overtime build up and can lead to stress or extreme exhaustion.
Your child may start to behave differently if they are dealing with autistic burnout. If you notice this, remember that their behaviours are not naughty but are actually a way of expressing emotions. So, as a parent be patient and kind. Understand that this can be tough to deal with and try to find ways to reduce autistic burnout.
4. Understand Motives & Connections
By understanding the above, it should help you to understand your child's motive behind their actions and whether those actions are connected to a situation.
For instance, if they shout when it's noisy, you may be able to connect this behaviour to their hearing being over-stimulated. On the other hand, if they are shouting at home because they want something (such as a chocolate) then this could be classed as naughtiness.
Over time, you will be able to recognise the differences between behaviour and naughtiness. So just be patient with your child and yourself.
We hope this blog helps you and your child ❤️
If you found any of these tips helpful, feel free to share! Or if you have any other useful tips that you think should be added, let us know :)